Thank you so much! As a beginner plus a non-native English speaker, its really hard to notice the mistakes.Taylor,
Always, always remember that your script has to get past a reader. As such, you cannot be sloppy in your grammar and clarity. You have a great deal of grammatical mistakes that will get your script marked as a PASS. Take time to do some serious proofreading.
Also, learn proper screenplay formatting. This will even involve how the story unfolds. For example, you have Edward onscreen first and introduce him well after. That's a no-no. But, have your mind on the subtle things as well. You can't show a "summer wind", and how would the audience even know it's summer anyway. A script is imagery and dialogue, basically. You can mention a few things that can't be communicated on screen, but only because they are relevant to things like characterization and so on.
Your dialogue has some formatting issues too. Numbers are NEVER written as a numeric when spoken. It has to be written out as it is said. "Eighteenth" not "18th".
You lean, very heavily on your action/description lines. A little too much.
Okay. So that's enough on the technical aspect. Concerning the story itself, you seem to have started in the middle of the story and not the beginning. Just remember, you as the writer know what you're going for, but that doesn't mean the audience does. So, put yourself in their place, or else you'll confuse them.
Hope that helps.