Feedback on Personal Statement? USC Film and Television Production MFA

[rainydays]

Hi everyone, it's me again!

I was wondering if anyone would be able to give me some feedback on my personal statement? I am currently on draft 3 after some previous feedback, and I think concept/structure wise it might be solid enough for me to now start cutting words down/cleaning it up. I was wondering if anyone could look it over and give me some feedback on that before I start working towards the final cleaned up version, just so I can make sure my concept and structure are solid. My statement is about Afrofuturism and Afrofantasy as a preview.

Any feedback would be much appreciated!

 

[rainydays]

I'd really appreciate any help from anyone! I don't know a single person who does film so I'm kind of on my own with figuring out if I'm doing stuff right.

 

[jumshua]

I'd be down to take a look! Afrofuturism is a hugely interesting topic to me and I'm applying to MFA programs myself.

 

[rainydays]

Hi everyone! Replying to this thread because I've done another draft and am kind of stuck, and I'd really appreciate any feedback/suggestions!

I'm wondering now if my current narrative structure works or if I should go for a more matter-of-fact retelling of memories from my past. One of my sections I'm also unsure if it has too much stuffed into it. I'm 700 words over the limit of 1000 right now as well.

Any advice would be much appreciated!