Feedback on USC MFA Film Production Personal Statement?

[nb1299]

Hey everyone! I'm currently writing and rewriting my personal statement for SCA. I've been looking at a lot of online advice encouraging an essay that showcases personality and individuality above all else. I've honestly been struggling trying to find a balance that shows the kind of person I am and also talks a bit about why I'm applying, etc. I'm also worried it might not be the kind of tone/anecdotal style they're watching for. Would love anyone who knows what USC is looking for to take a look at my draft and offer any feedback they can! Please let me know. Thank you

 

[burner1234567890]

Hello! I am currently an undergraduate student studying film and would love to help you with your draft.

 

[JohnnyLazaro]

Hello, I'll take a look at it. Just let me know how to access it.

 

[ashjupiterw]

Hello, I'll take a look at it. Just let me know how to access it.

Hello! I was wondering if you could look at my personal statement as well! I am not feeling so strongly about it! Thank you so much!

 

[JohnnyLazaro]

Hello! I was wondering if you could look at my personal statement as well! I am not feeling so strongly about it! Thank you so much!

Of course! Send me a link and I'll take a look.

 

[ashjupiterw]

Of course! Send me a link and I'll take a look.

Thank you so much! Do you mind if you could message me privately on here so I can send the link?

 

[ashjupiterw]

Of course! Send me a link and I'll take a look.

So I was trying to private message you the link, but I was not able to do it. So I made another thread - Feedback on *possible final draft* of USC Film and television production person statement?
thank you so much!

 

[JohnnyLazaro]

So I was trying to private message you the link, but I was not able to do it. So I made another thread - Feedback on *possible final draft* of USC Film and television production person statement?
thank you so much!

Awesome! Here is the google document with my suggestions:

“Small” Revision

“Small”. It was only a simple moment in my life. It was not one where parents, friends, and teachers celebrated the idea that I had to have grand achievements, like dunking the winning basket or delivering a jaw-dropping performance in the school play, only to showcase just one of my many talents...

docs.google.com

For your privacy, I have restricted access to who can view it, so you might need to request permission. Overall great job!

 

[ashjupiterw]

Awesome! Here is the google document with my suggestions:

“Small” Revision

“Small”. It was only a simple moment in my life. It was not one where parents, friends, and teachers celebrated the idea that I had to have grand achievements, like dunking the winning basket or delivering a jaw-dropping performance in the school play, only to showcase just one of my many talents...

docs.google.com

For your privacy, I have restricted access to who can view it, so you might need to request permission. Overall great job!I just re

Awesome! Here is the google document with my suggestions:

“Small” Revision

“Small”. It was only a simple moment in my life. It was not one where parents, friends, and teachers celebrated the idea that I had to have grand achievements, like dunking the winning basket or delivering a jaw-dropping performance in the school play, only to showcase just one of my many talents...

docs.google.com

For your privacy, I have restricted access to who can view it, so you might need to request permission. Overall great job!

I just requested access! Thank you so so much once again! Means a lot!

 

[Luckysharon]

Hi! I would like to help to give you feedback!