Help with Statement of Purpose -UCLA Screenwriting Professional Program

[Dev_paul]

Im an older applicant (40+) who needs to keep his day job/business, so my only options are part time programs. I have made some short films in the past which got into festivals etc.
I have decided to apply for UCLA Professional program in screenwriting. Im working on 1 page statement of purpose and was wondering if someone could give a look and feedback on it? Also, if there are any legit proofreading service you guys can recommend? Thanks

 

[lucychoi97]

i can take a look and give you feedback if you don't mind! I'll be attending chapman's screenwriting mfa program this fall.

 

[Dev_paul]

Thanks. Should I send you a PM?

 

[lucychoi97]

Thanks. Should I send you a PM?

Yeah definitely!

 

[Georg01]

Can you look at mine?