Feedback on Application

[Feministninja]

Hey everyone,

I applied for MFA at NYU this year, and have not heard back anything yet. I think rejected applications do not get any kind of feedback from the school, so I wanted to share my application material here, hoping some of you could take out some time to let me know where I could improve for next year's applications.

Thank you so much for taking time out. Really appreciate it.

You can watch the short film I wrote and directed for my application here. My SOP is here.

Any and all feedback is really appreciated.

 

[Deleted member 25887]

Hey everyone,

I applied for MFA at NYU this year, and have not heard back anything yet. I think rejected applications do not get any kind of feedback from the school, so I wanted to share my application material here, hoping someone of you could take out some time to let me know where I could improve for next year's applications.

Thank you so much for taking time out. Really appreciate it.

You can watch the short film I wrote and directed for my application here. My SOP is here.

Any and all feedback is really appreciated.

Hi. I did not look through all your documents but I checked SOP. I think it is better to shorten your story because it is too long and you refer too much to your childhood. It is appropriate for bachelor's but not for master's level I think. Besides, you did not really explain why you chose that school. You referred to the prestige and location of the school but it does not really relate to your academic experience if you accepted. I would elaborate more on that. In my opinion, you need to choose unique reasons to explain why only at that school you will achieve your career and personal goals. Right now your arguments are almost applicable to any school in NY.

 

[Yang Qian]

Hi Shruti, I just watched your short film. Here are my two cents!
general: 1. learn more about film language. I think you have a good concept but how you execute it into a short film is not the most ideal way. I love the feminist concept in your film! and maybe you could bring in more Indian-specific context, which would make your film more interesting!
details:
1. why do you decide to use the cross dissolve at 0:36 and 1:06?
2. why pan shot?
3. there seems to be a problem with the focus at 2:19. are you using auto-focus?
4. why a cut at 2:40?
I think you may need to be more deliberate in every decision you make in your short film.

 

[Feministninja]

Hey Yang, thank you so much for your feedback.

I shot and edited this film on my own. Used iphone to shoot and premiere pro to edit. (Auto focus yes).

Because of that yes, every detail is not perfect in the film. Editing can also seem choppy at places. Cross dissolves were decisions i made at that point. Pan was something i really wanted to use as a visual tool to reveal a new thing in all shots which was however contradicted by the daily humdrum really.

The 2.40 cut was due to my editing not being that great. I wanted to ofc bring about the whole beats thing to that, but again was not perfect.

I will take your film language point into consideration and spend more time on that. Thank you once again.

 

[Feministninja]

Hi. I did not look through all your documents but I checked SOP. I think it is better to shorten your story because it is too long and you refer too much to your childhood. It is appropriate for bachelor's but not for master's level I think. Besides, you did not really explain why you chose that school. You referred to the prestige and location of the school but it does not really relate to your academic experience if you accepted. I would elaborate more on that. In my opinion, you need to choose unique reasons to explain why only at that school you will achieve your career and personal goals. Right now your arguments are almost applicable to any school in NY.

Hey. Thank you so much for taking the time out.

I had a few further questions about your feedback. Would it be ok if i contact you further? Please let me know.

 

[Bergmanbaby]

Hey everyone,

I applied for MFA at NYU this year, and have not heard back anything yet. I think rejected applications do not get any kind of feedback from the school, so I wanted to share my application material here, hoping some of you could take out some time to let me know where I could improve for next year's applications.

Thank you so much for taking time out. Really appreciate it.

You can watch the short film I wrote and directed for my application here. My SOP is here.

Any and all feedback is really appreciated.

Hey! I went through both of these as well and have some thoughts. I actually think the problem with your essay funnily enough is it’s not personal at all. I have no idea who you are after reading that, and what influence your family and culture really had on who you are and want to be as a filmmaker. It seemed like you were getting there in the first paragraph but then you transitioned into almost a detailed resume of what you’ve done in film. My suggestion for your essay is to tell a personal story with character on what led you either to film, or the themes that drive you that you want to express. And cut down on the resume stuff because they have your resume already! I also disagree with @kudzelkaliubou— I wrote very little on why nyu in particular it was like two sentences and I had an interview yesterday.

Your film sample had the seed of a good idea but as some others have mentioned the problem is in the execution. You could have taken advantage of making some more creative shots of the kitchen, the food, the cooking— there was also an opportunity to create an atmosphere to escalate her emotional reaction to her husband but as it is it seems a little out of nowhere. Also agree that there are some editing choices you could have done differently but that’s not the main problem imo. I think you can have a really good application next year!

 

[VBM]

I agree with Bergman Baby wrt to the essay!! In terms of the film, I think the story is great but your editing and framing choices do not match with the mood you're trying to create. The jump cuts, cross dissolves take away from the story and make it unnecessarily dramatic. Similarly when she imagines going to the roof, the cuts and music and even the acting take away from the gravity of the situation. I also agree that the buildup needs to come from small things in the kitchen. The ticking clock is great but because it's constant we don't get that escalation. I think if you watch other understated films and figure out how they create mood and tone without being obvious in their editing you'll be able to come up with your own filmic language. In my interview yesterday we spoke about the motivation of each shot and cut, it all needs to have meaning independently! Good luck for the future !!! Your ideas are lovely

 

[user1234]

Hi!

I just wanted to add my thoughts to your film sample as well. I have to say that the first shot is absolutely gorgeous. It is truly remarkable that you were able to do this on an iPhone. The lighting and the soft glow from the little bit of light that peeks out the window is just....wow! That shot specifically reminded me of Pedro Costa's film In Vanda's Room. If you have not seen it, I highly recommend it. It is a hybrid fiction/non-fiction film which is also why I think you may like it from reading your SOP.

I do enjoy the experimental visual choices you are making. I think they are incredibly interesting and shows that you are thinking about a technical methodology for the film; however, the film dissolves feel disorienting because I'm not sure if it signifies the passing of time or a transition of either the character's physical space or mental/ emotional space. The thing I would ask you about the sample is, what is the dissolve between cuts supposed to do either for the story or to relay a character's feeling? Your answer will change the way you decide to move forward with the editing.

I really enjoy your filmmaking. Personally, I also enjoy fiction/nonfiction hybrid films. Your film sample really reminded me of Chantal Akerman's film Jeanne Dielman. My absolute favorite. The film follows a housewife and her "mundane" daily routine. It plays with the duration of time and I think would be a great watch! If you're ever interested!

Ultimately, I think you just have to make multiple edits of this sample and play with your rhythm in the editing. Great Stuff!

 

[scaldwellkerson]

Only throwing in my 2 cents with comments about your film because they're different than those that other people have mentioned. I liked your film once we got into what the point was. I think if anything it might suffer from extended pacing that kept us away from getting to know your main character, what she wants, desires, and why she continues to do the same thing everyday that makes her unhappy? Technical points aside, the story and evoking a change in a character is something that I think a school looks at more, but technique can be taught, crafting a good story, especially in less than 4 minutes is very hard. If you apply again and make a new film I would take my time to figure out how can I best show them who my character is and what they want in a cinematic way that feels true to you. Hope this helps